Loss

There are situations in life in which we need time for us to process, accept, and move on. Everyone has their way of overcoming loss and not everyone heals similarly; some people heal faster than others. Whichever your case might be, it is OK. Accept your process. Whether it is that you need to overcome the loss of a loved, a heartbreak or the loss of a job…you need time to heal and to accept the situation. Take your time.


When it comes the the loss of someone because of them passing, the process for everyone is different, although we all go through the same steps. Some will progress slower than others and therefore require more time to heal and overcome the loss. Some will avoid completing the grieving process because in their minds it’ll mean forgetting that loved one. Even though, you never forget a person you loved, not even after death. A loved one will never be forgotten and will forever live in our hearts and memories. But it is important to respect your own time and accept the process, and if you want to be a supporter to someone who have lost a loved one, be patient and understanding.


In the personal aspect, when you go through a heartbreak; some people tend to jump into another relationship in order to “move on”. It is a way to “proof” that you are “OK” and you no longer care for the person that broke your heart. I personally used to take that approach and I came to realize that I was just accumulating pain and pretended to be happy. It was my “defense mechanism”. It is important to heal from a heartbreak before starting a new relationship because you’ll either go breaking other people’s hearts or continue to break your own. In some other situations, we tend to stay longer than we should in a dysfunctional relationship just because we are not ready to let go. If that is your case, it is OK. Take the time you need because you learn and accept the process at your own pace, not mine, not your mother’s or your friend’s…at your own. The important thing is that you understand that if the relationship is dysfunctional it will eventually need to end. When you no longer care for the continuous disappointments or when you’re finally fed up with the mistreatment, you’ll reach a point of realization and empowerment, and that’s your point of NO RETURN! That's when you'll be able to move on.


Professionally speaking it is also seen that people get attached to their jobs and if they are let go, it affects them greatly. It is also a grieving process. You need to respect your own process. However, in this case I think that you should work faster on your recovery. Unfortunately in this particular situation the saying: ”time is money” literally applies. I don’t say you jump into any job, but you shouldn’t dwell on the loss for long. You should be proactive into looking for another job that fits your professional outlook and needs.


The grieving time for everyone is different. I will never forget what one of my therapists told me when I said: "I know I need to let go, but I don't know how to!" She said: "It is OK. It is just that you are not ready to let go yet...but you will!" and indeed, I did! Respect your time and process, but don’t forget that moving on is not forgetting neither it is that you stopped loving or caring. It means that life continues and it is best to move on and continue living. Heartbreaks take time to overcome, don’t act on situations prior to being ready to do so. If you do so, you might regret it or you might stay with the doubts of the “what if’s”. Respect your time. Now, once you are ready, you won’t have any doubts about it. Lastly, the professional loss can be considered another type of heartbreak, but for this one it is best not to dwell in the loss for too long, but instead take action into taking your next step onto the professional ladder. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, we just need to trust that things happen for our best and for us to grow stronger into the person we are meant to be in order to arrive to the destination we are meant to be.




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