Many people think the way I used to think, that being alone equals to being lonely and sad. Plus, we have Hollywood who teaches us in their romantic movies that a romantic partner “complete” us. Like if we were born missing a piece of another person, which we need to go out and find in order to be complete and therefore be happy. Hhmmm… I have come to discover so many things about myself during the moments I have spent ALONE with myself. Being alone is actually a blessing. It is the perfect time to get to know the most important person in the world…YOURSELF.
Why are we so scared to be alone? I used to be. I used to hate it! I always looked to call someone or went out with friends or even got into the wrong relationships in order to avoid being with myself. Every time I found myself alone, I would cry and thought I was miserable. How far was I from the truth? How blind was I not to actually appreciate my companionship! The moment I decided to spend time with ME and to actually listen to ME, was actually a moment of enlightenment.
There is so much beauty inside of us. Our uniqueness. Our creativity. Our believes. Even our mistakes, insecurities, and fears are there to teach us something. We need to dedicate time to get know ourselves and with the noise of our daily routines, the noise from other’s beliefs, the noise of the critiques, and all the distractions that surround us daily, it is impossible to listen to ourselves and to get to know who we really are. There’s always something to do. Work. Kids. A friend’s party. Laundry. Cleaning. Cooking. Augh! When can we get some rest, right? If we have time for everything and everyone, we also need to find time for ourselves, and I don’t mean for us to rest…I mean ALONE TIME. Time to be with our thoughts. Time to look inside ourselves and search for understanding. Time to self-evaluate. Time to heal. Time to forgive ourselves. Time to find a meaningful purpose for our lives.
The time you spend with yourself should be sacred. It should be a time in which you actively dedicate it to you; the same way you do with the people that you care for; you know when you cook a nice meal for your partner or for your visitors. When you plan and think the nice things you could do for them, well…do the same thing for YOU. Make yourself that nice meal. Drink that good wine. Play your favorite music and talk nicely to yourself. Have a date with you! Enjoy your company! Have conversations with yourself in which you search for meaning, healing, and understanding. Stop being so judgmental of everything you have done. Stop listening to the criticizing voice of your parents or friends or whoever is there to remind you of the “wrong” things you’ve done! Because those things stay in our heads repeating and replaying. What I suggest is to shut down all that shit and focus on having a nice moment with yourself. This will be the beginning of a journey.
When I created Empowered-Selflove was because I did this “Alone Time” with myself and thought… “the best way to empower myself is by loving myself completely”. It all came from those moments with myself. It all came when I found the value of learning who I truly am (and when I silent the voices of everyone else who thought they knew me). I started loving myself more and started enjoying being me with ME, as well as with everyone else. I started hating the depressed version of myself (because being depressed was the norm for me) and I started to love the beauty of my worth and of my uniqueness. When I say it was enlightening… I mean it! I decided that being alone was no longer going to be a bad thing, but instead an opportunity for my growth. I decided to get to know me. It was a journey. Sometimes it was painful (because I went deep in search of truth) but through the painful process I was also able to enjoy the beauty of the process. When you understand EVERYTHING from your life, then you end up realizing that all those things that you did “wrong” are only yours. They are yours not to carry as faults, but as lessons and steppingstones. You become stronger from your understanding. You are then able to forgive others and mostly yourself. That moment is empowering! It belongs to you.
I really encourage everyone to find at least a day every week or every other week to be alone with themselves. I encourage everyone to search for knowledge and focus on the self-growth and the self-evaluation. I encourage you to actually chat with yourself and get to know who you are. You will find out many things about yourself that you will come to understand, to love, and to forgive. Allow yourself this opportunity to be enlightened by your won beauty. Allow yourself the opportunity to fall in love with yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy your own company. I guarantee that you will become empowered and feel complete with who you are.