We all make mistakes in our lives. We all do wrong things along the way to others and to ourselves, and we also accept others to do us wrong. We tend to tolerate too much. We tend to accept wrongdoing for too long. We need to assume responsibility for our actions, that includes the acceptance of other people’s mistreatment. I am an advocate of self-love, but how can you love yourself if you allow others to hurt you? How can you love yourself if you don’t forgive yourself? How can you love yourself if you don’t learn from your mistakes and continue to repeat them? How can you love yourself if you allow other’s not to consider your needs and your time? I know, we are humans; we are imperfect. It is OK to make mistakes, but what is not OK is to constantly blame others for the results we get in our lives. If you don’t like the destination, change the route. You are the only one responsible for your happiness and for the results you get along the way.
We need to first assume responsibility for our actions (or our lack of action); for our mistakes, for accepting too much, for allowing wrong things for too long. If we make mistakes, those are ours! Assume responsibility and act differently from that point on. That is what learning and growing is all about. I think that a person who makes a mistake and assumes responsibility for their mistakes deserves so much respect than those who pretend to be perfect and hide their real self. If others are disrespecting you or constantly hurting you or not taking you into consideration, you are the only one in control. Don’t hand the happiness of your life to someone else, much less to someone who is hurting or disrespecting you or not even considering your needs and the things that have value to you. Take responsibility for your life and walk away from this kind of treatment.
You cannot force someone to respect you, but you can stop allowing the mistreatment. You cannot control other’s actions, but you can control your reaction and response. It is OK to say “NO!”, it is OK to say “Enough!”, it is OK to express your discomfort. However, if others continue to mistreat you, who is the one responsible? Unfortunately, my friend, it is YOU. Not because you are wrong, but because you continue to allow it.
I am not suggesting you go out and start arguing with everyone but be on the lookout and observe what you have tolerated and find ways of expressing your discomfort respectfully. If the people continue to mistreat you, then you simply walk away and stay away from this toxicity. It doesn’t mean that you no longer care for them, but it means that you now love yourself enough to know when you no longer want to accept a certain treatment and therefore establish boundaries. There are much difficult situations, such as having your own child make you feel drained and disrespected. You can’t walk away from your child but can establish boundaries and limits. If it becomes overwhelming, find professional help in order to help you manage your particular situation.
Assume responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Again, you cannot control other’s actions, but you can always control yours and how you accept others to treat you.