The People Around You
There is a very famous saying which says: “You become what you surround yourself with”. I must admit that I had some difficulty with this belief because you can hang out with a person with believes that are different from yours and learn so much from that person. You can have a friend who has done things that you would never do, and their behavior doesn’t define you. I am a very loyal person. I believe that it would be hypocrite to be friends with someone and just because I have different believes or because they act differently than me or even just because I have grown apart from that person, then I should turn my back on them. Well, first of…loyalty should always be given to people who are loyal to you. If the people who you surround yourself with are constantly hurting, criticizing you, or affecting your life in a negative way, why do you owe them any loyalty? Secondly, like I said, you should not be defined by the behavior of others, only by your own behavior.
Going back to the loyalty, the fact that you are loyal doesn’t mean you need to accept things from others that don’t align with the person you have become or with the person you aspire to be. You can always extend your hand to the people you love and care for, however, that doesn’t mean you also have to allow them to affect your life in a negative way. I am not suggesting turning your back on the people you love, but maybe it is necessary to keep your distance from the toxic people that are part of your life.
We all have that one friend or family member that is extremely negative and pessimistic. However, it is best for us to keep our distance from the toxicity and pessimism that these people bring to the table. You can still love your friend or family member. You can still give support. But you should not allow the negativity from that person to affect your growth and progress.
It is important to create a Network of people that aligns with the person you want to become. In this sense I DO agree with the saying of “becoming who you surround yourself with”. If you want to grow, learn, and be successful (in any area of your life), you need to look for mentors that can offer guidance, inspiration, support, knowledge, and that motivates you into becoming that person you wish to become. This is not easy to achieve! Sometimes we need to go out and look for people with similar aspirations as ours, because the ones we surround ourselves with don’t have similar goals or aspirations. Sometimes it even means cutting off toxic people from our lives. Sometimes it means to stay away from people you love and care for.
Surrounding yourself with the people that can help you grow and that can provide positive perspective on the things you wish to accomplish is imperative in order to acquire those things and reach your goals. If you wish to be a pilot, for instance, how can you be motivated when the people you surround yourself with don’t believe you should even consider being a pilot? How can you learn anything from people who have no exposition to aeronautics? Obviously, you will continuously hit yourself with limited mentalities, and that will frustrate you. You need to search for people with similar aspirations. Follow groups in social media that are interested in the same things as you are. Attend conferences that align with your interests. If you are interested in something and you don’t have people that can understand your interests, then you need to go find them!
If you look into the success stories of many, they experienced similar difficulties and challenges. They had to change their environment and had to surround themselves with people with similar goals and vision. They created a new network of people that would serve them into growing and developing instead of allowing people to diminish and frustrate them. They made adjustments and went out to MAKE things happen for them.
Surround yourself with people that will bring out the best in you, and don’t allow the negative people to reflect their frustrations and limitations on yourself. Sometimes this might imply staying away or avoiding people you love, but the truth is that you need to look out for yourself and make yourself a priority. That is not selfish, it is actually self-love and self-respect.