The People Around You

There is a very famous saying which says: “You become what you surround yourself with”. I must admit that I had some difficulty with this belief because you can hang out with a person with believes that are different from yours and learn so much from that person. You can have a friend who has done things that you would never do, and their behavior doesn’t define you. I am a very loyal person. I believe that it would be hypocrite to be friends with someone and just because I have different believes or because they act differently than me or even just because I have grown apart from that person, then I should turn my back on them. Well, first of…loyalty should always be given to people who are loyal to you. If the people who you surround yourself with are constantly hurting, criticizing you, or affecting your life in a negative way, why do you owe them any loyalty? Secondly, like I said, you should not be defined by the behavior of others, only by your own behavior.

Going back to the loyalty, the fact that you are loyal doesn’t mean you need to accept things from others that don’t align with the person you have become or with the person you aspire to be. You can always extend your hand to the people you love and care for, however, that doesn’t mean you also have to allow them to affect your life in a negative way. I am not suggesting turning your back on the people you love, but maybe it is necessary to keep your distance from the toxic people that are part of your life.

We all have that one friend or family member that is extremely negative and pessimistic. However, it is best for us to keep our distance from the toxicity and pessimism that these people bring to the table. You can still love your friend or family member. You can still give support. But you should not allow the negativity from that person to affect your growth and progress.

It is important to create a Network of people that aligns with the person you want to become. In this sense I DO agree with the saying of “becoming who you surround yourself with”. If you want to grow, learn, and be successful (in any area of your life), you need to look for mentors that can offer guidance, inspiration, support, knowledge, and that motivates you into becoming that person you wish to become. This is not easy to achieve! Sometimes we need to go out and look for people with similar aspirations as ours, because the ones we surround ourselves with don’t have similar goals or aspirations. Sometimes it even means cutting off toxic people from our lives. Sometimes it means to stay away from people you love and care for.

Surrounding yourself with the people that can help you grow and that can provide positive perspective on the things you wish to accomplish is imperative in order to acquire those things and reach your goals. If you wish to be a pilot, for instance, how can you be motivated when the people you surround yourself with don’t believe you should even consider being a pilot? How can you learn anything from people who have no exposition to aeronautics? Obviously, you will continuously hit yourself with limited mentalities, and that will frustrate you. You need to search for people with similar aspirations. Follow groups in social media that are interested in the same things as you are. Attend conferences that align with your interests. If you are interested in something and you don’t have people that can understand your interests, then you need to go find them!

If you look into the success stories of many, they experienced similar difficulties and challenges. They had to change their environment and had to surround themselves with people with similar goals and vision. They created a new network of people that would serve them into growing and developing instead of allowing people to diminish and frustrate them. They made adjustments and went out to MAKE things happen for them.

Surround yourself with people that will bring out the best in you, and don’t allow the negative people to reflect their frustrations and limitations on yourself. Sometimes this might imply staying away or avoiding people you love, but the truth is that you need to look out for yourself and make yourself a priority. That is not selfish, it is actually self-love and self-respect.

Do What Is Best For You

Have you ever felt frustrated, down, or disappointed? I think we all have felt this way…it is part of life. However, during times of difficulty it is when we need to pay attention to EVERYTHING because this is the time to learn and to grow. Even though we feel broken and without the desire to do anything; it is THERE that we need to grab ourselves up and do what is best for us!

Disappointment is part of life. Nobody will escape that feeling; no matter if you are successful or have money or have the “perfect life” in the eyes of everyone else. Disappointment will strike you and it usually does it unexpectedly. However, that is the time to build yourself…to build your character, to become stronger, and to work on your self-improvement and self-love. You know those times. Those moments when you just want to give up…and think to yourself: “It is not worth it!”. But guess what? It is always worth it! This is the time to get up, show up, and give your best! The pay off will be worth it, even though you cannot see it right now.

It is during difficulty when we must work on the things that are for our best. Becoming stronger requires growth and sometimes growth is painful. Or do you think that the people who have lost a lot of weigh didn’t endure frustration, deception, or pain? Well…I bet you it was VERY hard for them! But now that they look at themselves in the mirror, they realize the importance of not giving up on themselves. They can enjoy better health, but mostly they get to enjoy their achievement! I can only imagine their thoughts now… “It was all worth it!”. They can feel proud of their hard work and their accomplishment; they now get to value the process, the pain, and the sacrifice. The same goes for those people who struggle with their education…it requires time, sacrifice, nights without sleep in order to acquire a diploma… Oh! But it feels so good when you reach your goal! Whichever that goal may be, you need to endure difficulties, sometimes even pain…but the feeling of accomplishment will be all worth it at the end.

As the saying goes “it is not the destination…it is the journey”. Yes! I agree that sometimes the journey is overwhelming, it can be sad, frustrating, stressful, and even depressing…but later, everything will make sense and will pay off! Always place yourself on the top of your priorities and always do what is best for you; even when you don’t feel like doing anything. This applies in every aspect of your life: professionally, personally, financially, physically, emotionally, etc. Do a little today, do a little bit more tomorrow…do a little bit more the next day. Take one day to rest and keep advancing. Little by little. It is your journey. Take your time, but don’t sit without doing anything about your progress. It is not about advancing fast; it is just about not giving up and doing what you know is best for you.

Regret

Many people say that they don’t regret anything in their lives because that’s what has brought them to the place they are right now. However, I think that instead we should be grateful for every experience, for our mistakes, and even for the things that we feel ashamed of because all those experiences build our character and all of those experiences have created the person we currently are. However, I cannot agree with the idea of not regretting certain things.

Actually, I regret MANY things in my life, not because they didn’t help me grow or become the person I am today, but because I am no longer a person that would do certain things. I think that regret is something important in life. The way I see it is that regret is the equivalent of growth, because it requires self-evaluation and as a result we learn from our mistakes and mature. There are things that I have done that I’m not proud of, things that I feel ashamed of, people I have hurt or allowed to hurt me, and things that I didn’t try on doing because of my fears and insecurities.

Regretting is not something bad! It is growth!

When you evaluate yourself and realize that there are things that don’t align with the person you currently are, then that is equivalent to self-improvement and therefore…growth. But if we go through life thinking that regret is something bad, then we are actually missing the point; we will be blocking the learning behind those things we regret.

When we evaluate our lives and who we have become, we need to be grateful for everything we have lived and done, but not feeling regretful of certain things makes us cynical. Nobody is perfect and saying that you don’t regret anything means you think you are perfect. There’s no growth in perfection.

I encourage you to evaluate every experience in your life and look for the growth. Embrace any regret and be grateful for the realization that you are no longer the person you used to be. Embrace the new you. Embrace your growth. Empower yourself by learning from those moments in life. You are in a new place right now in your life, and that is because of your regrets and your learning experience.